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I sleepwalk. I also, for long periods of time, will have night terrors.

I haven’t had any night terrors in awhile. I have NO IDEA what triggers them. I am stressed out right now, but I am not having night terrors. They have a tendency to turn themselves on and off. At whim.

Either way, I live in a high rise condo, and there are sliding doors that lead out to the patio. When we were asked if it is ok if they leave both sets of doors, I yelled out “GOOD GOD YES PLEASE” because each set had locks on them, hard to undo locks, and I knew that would keep me from launching myself off the balcony in the middle of a sleep state.

Once, while sleep-walking, I walked into the living room, got really close to Eric’s face, and sneezed. I was maybe half an inch away from his face. His swearing and pushing me away woke me up.

Nothing, however, compares to my little sister, and what I have done to her while sleeping.

We used to share a room, and once, I sat down on her and ate a sandwich while sleeping. I have also yelled at her regarding leaving the bear cage open, and “NOW I HAVE TO MAKE NEW BEARS!” Needless to say, I am a  fun roommate.

The best has to be when I gave her a tupperware container full of my own urine.

Yeah. You read that right.

In the middle of the night, I sleepwalked into the kitchen, got some Tupperware out, and peed in it.

The next morning, I wake up, and on my nightstand, there is a Tupperware container full of urine.

I learned two things that day, 1) I need to drink more liquids, and 2) It is more than hysterically funny to wrap a Tupperware container of your own urine in birthday wrapping paper, and then leave it for your sister for when she wakes up.

She still talks about how horrifying it was when she cracked open the container, and it gave that distinct Tupperware hiss when opening, and then the smell came.

I swear, to this day, she is still plotting her revenge.