Lawnchair Memiors

Today at work we had no internet, and for a time, no computer access. This was particularly bad because I had to enter orders with our distribution center online.

At the office today was just myself, Ericka, and Jason Buckaroo. Ericka, who you have met before, was on the phone with one of our partners. Jason Buckaroo and I were talking, and I was trying to convince him to let us take a company outing to his house to use his computer.

I am going to stop the story here and explain some things. Jason Buckaroo is my co-worker, and acts like he could have been my little brother in another life. I still think that one day he is going to come into the office, spray me in the face with silly string, and put me in a full nelson. He got the name Buckaroo because I once told him he was ‘My Little Buckaroo.’ I was trying to get him to do something for me, something probably boring and audit related. And I remember him looking at me and saying “What the hell is a Buckaroo?!” He also is a web designer and programmer.

Anyway, back to the story.

Ericka is talking on the phone in the background with one of our partners who doesn’t speak English.

Me: Seriously Jason, can we go to your house. I actually HAVE work to do.

Jason: No. For two reasons, one, I live in the studio, and two, you cannot use my computer that I use for work, my VERY IMPORTANT WORK.

Me: But for real, I have a LOT of work to do, plus I want to see where the Programming Magic happens!

Jason: It happens in a leather chair. And still no, you cannot touch the magic computer.

Ericka: *puts call on hold* WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING THAT IS AN INAPPROPRIATE WORK TOPIC ESPECIALLY SINCE I AM ON THE PHONE.

Jason and I both look puzzled.

And now, without further ado, what Ericka thought Jason and I said to each other:

Me: Jason, let’s go to your house

Jason: No

Me: I wanna see where the Masturbation Magic happens.

Jason: It happens in a lawn chair. Touch the Magic.

When she recounted this, we almost died laughing.

Right now, we are watching the latest Romero film. Excuse me while I pee myself.