About Enna
This is me:
I took the liberty of adding the censorship bar and fancy tie-a-woman-to-the-train-tracks mustache. YOU’RE WELCOME.
I used to look like this:
My name is Enna, I live in Chicago with Eric, my fiance, Carrie, a personable, perpetually filthy doll. A family hobby is putting Carrie in situations that we find humorous and taking pictures of her, as seen here:
This cracks up my entire family. Carrie is a doll I have had almost my entire life. She is made by Fischer Price, and was released in Britain and the US. Carrie, ironically, is from Britain.
I used to be a Market Trend Analyst, but then I got canned. I am now milking the unemployment system and actively looking for work in the Chicagoland Metro Area oh snap I am now gainfully employed! I am a workaholic, which means I am addicted to workahol.
I grew up on the south side of Chicago. Which means I am a fan of the Chicago White Sox. I have 250+ stubs from games now. Not that I have gone to that many games, more people like to give me tickets. One of these days I will frame the entire season tickets of 2005 I have accumulated. You know, the year they WON THE WORLD SERIES.
I went to Saint Christina on the South Side of Chicago for grammar school. I was the most silent student to ever have walked the puke-dust halls of that school.
I went to Lourdes High School on roughly 56th and Pulaski. I was the only non-Black, non-Hispanic, non-Polish girl to go to that school. My mother went there as well. I graduated in 2001. I am still waiting for my graduation card from you, just so you know. Don’t worry, I’ll just keep waiting.
I went to a Certain College and Studied Business. I would write about that, but mostly it involved me being very angry.
The worst insult I have ever sustained is someone once told me I look like the kind of girl who smokes Pall Malls.
The best compliment I ever received was I always have a funny story to tell everyone, even at a funeral, and that makes me the funniest person around.
I have a deep voice for a girl, I can stay on key with India Arie.
In my head, when I am talking to myself, I address myself as Ada. This is in no way my name.
I once ate a cat, accidentally of course.
I am allergic to the following things: Eggs, Beer, Shellfish, Salmon (all fish, really), mussels, cats, most dogs, whatever they use to clean shopping carts (it makes my hands swell up until they look purple and ridiculous) milk, and wheat (but only in large amounts.) Some of these things I still eat because the allergy is so mild, and the food in question is so tasty. I completely abstain from eggs, beer, and shopping carts. Eggs and beer are the worst, as they can both land me in the hospital. I wear gloves when I go shopping.
I love Diet Squirt. I hate all other diet sodas, with the exception of Diet Chocolate Fudge, which is so awesome when it is ice cold on a really hot day. I should make that my Fourth of July Tradition.
You can contact me via leaving a comment or by emailing me at SuperEnna@gmail.com.
Darling Enna,
I just started weight watchers this week. I feel the humiliation of weighing myself in front of other people will curb my appetite. We’ll see. Best of luck with your diet. I’ll be reading your blog all month-looking for motivation. However, I won’t be buying any deodorant soon. Love ya, Susan
Hello Enna,
Visiting your blog for the first time. What a great idea to start a blog and keep track of your diet, exercise, and nutrition program.
Talk about a challenge. Doing this and working with donuts. But, hey, if you’re going to do it, must as well do it and try to thrive in the most adverse of conditions.
Good luck with your experiment, and it sounds like you are having a lot of fun along the way!
-patrick
Thanks for the recording device and for stopping by. Felling trees is the phrase for chopping down trees. Fallen trees is what nature did to the wooded area. Trees left behind by tree fellers are felled trees.
I put “canine” in the recipe finder and it came back unknown. How bizarre.
Daddoo,
You should have put cat.
Baby-boo, you will always be my #1 bestie, despite the search.
Uterasaurus! *Thrusts fist into the air*
You know, I never read this page! I know you so much better now. I love it. Now I know what you’re talking about when you discuss jobs, etc.
hello there, just happen to land here while doing some random blog hopping, love your blog, i like your wit and humour
will be coming here again ..
all the best with your job search, sorry to hear about your job loss, but it can only get better
It CAN only get better, you are not kidding about that! Thanks for stopping by. I update Monday-Friday at Midnight.
you fucking ate a cat? lol
I did indeed. It’s like a running theme/joke in this blog now.
soo uh yo enna. Interestingly enough, I too was canned and (am in the process) of riding the unemployment train.. and I too, am from the chitown area (rockford) … so i think we should combine our clearly above average wittiness and start some sort of dot com cagillionaire business. how bout it?
The Government Cheese is the best cheese of all!
We shall team up, and be unstoppable!
Muhahahahahahahaha!
Your blog is FANTASTIC! I am putting you on my blogroll. You have such a talent with humor, and you write wonderfully, too. I am so glad to have found someone who blogs and thinks along the same lines I do…
Why thank you!
wow, those were extraordinary instructions. thank you so much! Well, let me tell you, I already have hosting for my writing website at 1and1.com….and merely trying to install wordpress.org into that server was not “an easy 5 minute install” ok wordpress? it took me a week and at least 3 of my geeky friends to figure out that mother crusher. apprently, they leave out the fact you need to get firefox and a whole other slew of programs. ANYWAY, so i can purchase another domain for 10 a year so i was gonna keep it simple and go with them. so, maybe i’ll have to call my customer service and figure out how that will go for them then…
Just so you know, I’m not the same Nina who previously commented here. I’m the one who now thinks of fat black and white pigs with curly tails in pink tutus when I log in. It is a teensy little bit scary that there is another one out there, though…Oh God! Maybe I do have an evil twin!
Hey Enna…I put your story up…thanks for throwing it in the ring
Thank YOU for putting it up!
Hey Enna,
I can totally relate — I’m a well-educated woman who can’t get hired to do even the most menial of jobs (and like you, I seek out statistical analysis in my spare time just for fun), but it’s bound to get better at some point, right??? Or so I tell myself (it keeps me out of the fetal position…). Good luck.
Thanks, I am so completely going to need good luck. Good luck to you too!
I love Diet Squirt.
oh my – how dirty of you. i love it.
Diet Squirt is the greatest drink on the planet!
clicked onto your site after you commented on mine. I love it! It’s so random (which is why I like it). Also, checked out a couple of your blogroll sites (onesentence and postcards from yo momma) They’re great! Look forward to keeping up with your blog
Thanks so much for following! And thanks for the commenting!
This could be really cool for webmasters….
Hi Enna – got to your blog via your comment on my blog
You are too funny. Totally love your blog. Here’s a video I think you’ll like as it pertains to humor, job seeking and interview skillz. http://tinyurl.com/pyg347 It’s a post on my blog – the url is just really long.
Dear, Enna.
You are the most hilarious person I’ve ever met!
From,
Anonymously Secret
WOO HOO! Thank you! And stop by any time!
I had a cat once. I named him Ben. I took him from the sidewalk when he was a week old. This cat sucks up the middle bulging part of his paw. He mistook it for a cat nipple. He continued this exercise until he was about a year old. Then the sucking stopped. This cat realized now that he was too old for the middle bulging paw. Or was it the paw which lost its juices? I have no way of knowing.
Oh man that sounds cute as hell!
I beg to differ about you being the most quiet to walk the halls of that school. After all, my mother went there too and you know how quiet SHE is…. and she is downright outgoing right now comparitively O:-)
LMAO. TRUE. Weird question – did she have Mr. Wiseman?
Damn, didn’t see this before. But I kinda doubt it… unless you KNOW he has been there since the 60s… All I ever here about are Sisters.
Hi there Enna-
I just stumbled upon your site by way of a shared post on Google Reader. I think you’re hilarious and I am getting your book on my iphone STAT.
I, too, have a deep girl voice and live in Chicago, but baby dolls scare the bejesus outta me.
thanks for brightening my day!
WOW! Welcome aboard! And thank you!
Hi, if you ever have dreams that you want to share please feel free to drop them off at http://dairydreamer.wordpress.com/
It’s a new blog, and I was kind of hoping it would grow.
Thanks a lot
Oh man did you just leave a comment on the right person’s blog!
See you are very funny and you say with wildest crap I have ever heard. I somehow find myself saying crazy stuff too, and on;y the ones that truly know me can get what I am saying. I think that is why we got along at Lourdes so well, we had so many good laughs. We both are very blunt and you can now say you have yet another person who understands just what you mean. Oregon Trail….I did not know it still existed and now thanks to you I have to buy that, so thanks. And I am going to add that I first and foremost buying your book because it is you, but then again I was up late t night reading your blogs and laughing my ass off, again sorry. However I am sure you are used to this, I am used to people laughing at me so it is ok for you to laugh. we so need to actually convo online via yahoo or skpe or something…..I think we would have a great laugh. Tiffani
Indeed we will! And GO BUY OREGON TRAIL! It’s the greatest game. Ever. Period.
When are you coming back through Chicago??? I actually want to hang out, even if we just mix drinks and sit on my balcony with it’s grand view of the expressway below.
I have no idea maybe next summer if I am lucky because such trips cost us a fortune and the fact that both girls are FINALLY in school, feel free to be happy and joyous along with me, some moms sob at the fact that they are losing their kids, but me, I am going to celebrate with something dammit. On the other hand you say you love road trips, take a 14 hour trip to Virginia and come mix up the drinks at my house or ocean or even the bay. I unfortunately do not have the awesome ass view you have, but I have a busy street in front of my house that tends to be backed up with traffic; I live 4 houses from the airport. So expressway or airport…..hmm that is a tough thought of whose view is better. I say yours because your have a chance to witness accidents and humor that situation, I just get the stupid traffic.
Love your writing… great blog!!
Thanks!
Enna, let me know if that advice about writing on AC helped. In the meantime…thanks for adding me to your regular victim’s list! (i.e. followers). Thanks!
Thanks for the advice! And no problem!
See you are very funny and you say with wildest crap I have ever heard. I somehow find myself saying crazy stuff too, and on;y the ones that truly know me can get what I am saying. I think that is why we got along at Lourdes so well, we had so many good laughs. We both are very blunt and you can now say you have yet another person who understands just what you mean. Oregon Trail….I did not know it still existed and now thanks to you I have to buy that, so thanks. And I am going to add that I first and foremost buying your book because it is you, but then again I was up late t night reading your blogs and laughing my ass off, again sorry. However I am sure you are used to this, I am used to people laughing at me so it is ok for you to laugh. we so need to actually convo online via yahoo or skpe or something…..I think we would have a great laugh. Tiffani
+1
Funny blog-funny author-I too lost my job-most people thought I was the biggest asswipe for teaching in a correctional facility, so after eleven years putting up with the worse crap imaginable and believing I was really making a difference-they closed the school to bust the union and reorganize. Get this, now they want all the teachers to re-apply for their positions. If this wasn’t a recession I’d have some choice words to say-but now all I can do is eat, laugh and pray that I can find another job so I can be disrespected all over again. Thanks for listening!
That sounds like an interesting generic-styled dark comedy blog in the waiting….are you writing a blog or something similar where you tell some of the most interesting events and cases? I would be interested to see that!
No problem – I hope you get your job back, or better yet, a job that RESPECTS you and your talents!